Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Staff Date

You know how you can always tell when someone is feeling particularly pleased with themselves, and that when that look is on a bloke it usually means he has scored with the opposite sex? Well you should have seen Paul’s face yesterday. Talk about Cheshire Cat.

Although he persisted in denying it most of the morning, it was clear to everyone that Paul must have met someone, somehow, somewhere. But he remained tight-lipped, despite his lips being permanently stretched in this perpetual grin. You could just see the boy was in love.

Alex became immediately jealous, and Gary and Kirstie began reminiscing on how they first met by chance in Asda’s cheap crisp aisle.

But Paul wasn’t giving anything away…until someone mentioned match.com and there was a sudden glimmer of recognition in Paul’s eyes, and it was clear he had been putting his computer to good use at last.

Of course Paul was really dying to tell everyone all about this goddess, and his resistance finally broke during elevenses when, with everyone gathered around the percolator, Paul recounted his bubbling, passionate affair with the girl of his dreams.

Giselle.

“What is she like, what is she like,” Kirstie twittered excitedly, hopping up and down, but no description was forthcoming.

But then it transpired that, despite his excitement, Paul hadn’t actually seen what the girl of his dreams looked like. Why? Was his cheap laptop malfunctioning Gary asked hastily, fearing the company’s high standards were slipping.

No, said Paul, there was nothing wrong with the laptop, it was as good as new (of course, seeing as he had built it!).

Giselle just hadn’t uploaded a photo, said Paul simply.

The room fell silent. Was he for real? Was she for real come to that? Was it possible to fall in love with someone you had never even seen a picture of?

Course it is, exclaimed Paul dismissing the others with a tutting whistle between his teeth. How could they be so shallow, feeble-minded, and so image-conscious?!

Gary, Kirstie and Alex were gobsmacked, but impressed at the same time. Gary has known Paul for years, and always had him down as a bit base. He now saw him in a totally new light.

It was only when they discovered what she did for a living that everyone sped off back to their jobs with deep groans bouncing off the walls.

Giselle was a traffic warden.

What? said Paul.

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