“You know, have you ever considered how important the colour pink is?” Gary said yesterday while musing to Paul.
Paul said he hadn’t. He didn’t like the colour.
Gary looked disappointed. Then he explained to Paul that pink was actually a sign of high social standing in Elizabethan times, and that the men used to wear pink tights under their funny waistcoats. There was a law in England called The English Sumptary Laws. It stated that only the lower classes, and the upper classes could wear pink clothing.
Maybe, said Gary, that is where the word “sumptious” comes from.
Paul chocked on his hob-nob, and scoffed that we don’t live in Elizabethan times.
Gary said that was not exactly true – what’s the name of the current Queen he asked. Paul conceded Gary had a point there, but in reality we were not living in the Middle Ages.
Gary went on to say that even in Victorian times, right up to the 1940s, pink was considered a manly colour, whereas blue was considered feminine because blue was the colour associated with the Virgin Mary.
But now it’s “pink for a girl, blue for a boy,” Paul pointed out helpfully.
Gary said he knew that, he was just pointing out to Paul the interesting history of the colour pink.
Why? asked Paul.
Gary said he was fascinated with colours. Always had been. If he hadn’t become a computer expert building cheap laptops he would like to have been an artist, a painter, like Vermeer. He liked nice shades of pink.
By now Paul was becoming a little suspicious. What the hell was Gary going on about with all this pink malarkey?
Gary ignored Paul and went on to explain that pink was considered to be a calming colour, and that the giving of pink carnations is symbolic of saying, “I will never forget you”. Softer shades are considered feminine, but darker shades are said to alleviate feelings of friction. It is the colour of joy, and happiness.
Pink is a quiet colour, said Gary, pink is the colour of the lovers of beauty, pink is a symbol of universal love! It gives off calm feelings, neutralises disorder, gives rise to relaxation, and contentment.
It is said that you should wear pink when you want to present yourself as a peaceful person, someone who is not threatening.
“Ahah!” said Paul suddenly. “I know what this about. You want me to wear pink at that business presentation, don’t you?”
No, said Gary. But you will be taking the Pink Dell d600 with you.
So, said Paul.
It has a pink lid, said Gary. I just thought you should have some knowledge of pink behind you when talking about a pink laptop.
Paul waved his hob nob at Gary. He’s such a wily character is that Managing Director of Eflex Computers…
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
World Cup 2010
Gary has been wondering why Paul is looking so agitated the past couple of days. Paul says it’s because he’s going to this important meeting in Brussels on behalf of the firm, yet Paul has been to many meetings. He’s an old hand in the role of “face of the company”, the perfect suit for shifting cheap laptops, and computers.
Gary can’t work out why Paul is looking so pressured - but the truth is smellier than a pan of three-week old sprouts.
Paul has been feverishly trying to get his hands on a World Cup ticket…and is using a company meeting as an excuse to go.
He’s looked high, he’s looked low, he’s tried everything possible, but it’s just not working. Getting his hands on one is as elusive as the thought of wanting to get your hands on a traffic warden. The thought is just too alien. The idea of getting hold of a ticket is just as far-fetched.
Paul’s ditched Giselle in favour of following England – but just hasn’t managed to get hold of that gold dust ticket. Actually, it was the other way round – Giselle dumped Paul because he tried to get her to give him hers. She’s going, because she’s doing job-exchange with a parking attendant in South Africa.
That annoyed Paul even more. No ticket, no girlfriend. Double whammy.
Paul has even got Alex helping him out. Together they have been trying to create a fake ticket on Windows Paint, but it’s just not working somehow.
Jan, like the good mum she is, has suggested he ring Terry Venables – but that’s only because she fancies him when he’s doing his Frank Sinatra impression in the TV advert, and thinks somehow Mr. Venables will give Paul a ticket in return for a date with her. (That’s what comes of being in the basement packing computers all day Jan!)
It’s not looking good for Paul – so if anyone out there can help, get in touch with him at Eflex Computers…otherwise he may find himself chasing wild geese in Belgium, when he would rather be blowing a bambazoola in Cape Town!
Gary can’t work out why Paul is looking so pressured - but the truth is smellier than a pan of three-week old sprouts.
Paul has been feverishly trying to get his hands on a World Cup ticket…and is using a company meeting as an excuse to go.
He’s looked high, he’s looked low, he’s tried everything possible, but it’s just not working. Getting his hands on one is as elusive as the thought of wanting to get your hands on a traffic warden. The thought is just too alien. The idea of getting hold of a ticket is just as far-fetched.
Paul’s ditched Giselle in favour of following England – but just hasn’t managed to get hold of that gold dust ticket. Actually, it was the other way round – Giselle dumped Paul because he tried to get her to give him hers. She’s going, because she’s doing job-exchange with a parking attendant in South Africa.
That annoyed Paul even more. No ticket, no girlfriend. Double whammy.
Paul has even got Alex helping him out. Together they have been trying to create a fake ticket on Windows Paint, but it’s just not working somehow.
Jan, like the good mum she is, has suggested he ring Terry Venables – but that’s only because she fancies him when he’s doing his Frank Sinatra impression in the TV advert, and thinks somehow Mr. Venables will give Paul a ticket in return for a date with her. (That’s what comes of being in the basement packing computers all day Jan!)
It’s not looking good for Paul – so if anyone out there can help, get in touch with him at Eflex Computers…otherwise he may find himself chasing wild geese in Belgium, when he would rather be blowing a bambazoola in Cape Town!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Dell Inspiron 1545
Gary had this weird dream the other night. He dreamt he was Del Boy Trotter.
Not only that, but Gary was standing in the local market giving the Trotter spiel.
What was he flogging? Computers of course!
But not any old junk. These were the Dell Inspiron 1545 Laptops.
And in his dream Gary soon found he was doing a roaring trade – with the ladies.
It’s not that Gary is that much of a Casanova with the gift of the gab – it’s just that the ladies were overcome by the seductive qualities of the rather eye-catching red microsatin lids!
Corr, what a stunner!
Gary couldn’t sell them quick enough – but it’s when he suddenly ran out of stock from his beat-up Trotter suitcase that Gary began to sweat, and had to beat a hasty retreat back to the Eflex Computers offices, a thousand women chasing him clamouring to get their mits on his hardware!
(Or should that be software with Kirstie breathing down your neck?)
But it’s easy to see why the ladies – or indeed anyone with an eye for a tasteful computer – would want to get their hands on an Eflex acquired Inspiron 1545.
That’s because they retail at only £319.99 with Gary and the gang. How come? Because at Eflex they have the expertise to acquire factory-returns, and re-sell them as “good as new”.
The Dell 1545 laptop is one of the most popular models ever produced by Dell. It has excellent build quality, and performs brilliantly.
Eflex are masters at what they do, and have A1 contacts in the field to acquire only the best in factory-returns. And that’s why they can pass on fabulous savings to their customers.
And you just wouldn’t know the difference between new and returned. Okay, Gary will admit the units they sell have a few faint marks on the eye-catching red lids, but hey, a bit of scarring is considered quite attractive by some.
Anyway, it’s a small price to pay for the huge reduction in price.
But Kirstie is now wondering whether Gary is actually going to try flogging them down the market.
He came home that night with a beat-up suitcase, and trademark Del Boy overcoat…
Not only that, but Gary was standing in the local market giving the Trotter spiel.
What was he flogging? Computers of course!
But not any old junk. These were the Dell Inspiron 1545 Laptops.
And in his dream Gary soon found he was doing a roaring trade – with the ladies.
It’s not that Gary is that much of a Casanova with the gift of the gab – it’s just that the ladies were overcome by the seductive qualities of the rather eye-catching red microsatin lids!
Corr, what a stunner!
Gary couldn’t sell them quick enough – but it’s when he suddenly ran out of stock from his beat-up Trotter suitcase that Gary began to sweat, and had to beat a hasty retreat back to the Eflex Computers offices, a thousand women chasing him clamouring to get their mits on his hardware!
(Or should that be software with Kirstie breathing down your neck?)
But it’s easy to see why the ladies – or indeed anyone with an eye for a tasteful computer – would want to get their hands on an Eflex acquired Inspiron 1545.
That’s because they retail at only £319.99 with Gary and the gang. How come? Because at Eflex they have the expertise to acquire factory-returns, and re-sell them as “good as new”.
The Dell 1545 laptop is one of the most popular models ever produced by Dell. It has excellent build quality, and performs brilliantly.
Eflex are masters at what they do, and have A1 contacts in the field to acquire only the best in factory-returns. And that’s why they can pass on fabulous savings to their customers.
And you just wouldn’t know the difference between new and returned. Okay, Gary will admit the units they sell have a few faint marks on the eye-catching red lids, but hey, a bit of scarring is considered quite attractive by some.
Anyway, it’s a small price to pay for the huge reduction in price.
But Kirstie is now wondering whether Gary is actually going to try flogging them down the market.
He came home that night with a beat-up suitcase, and trademark Del Boy overcoat…
Friday, June 11, 2010
World Cup Is Here
Well, it’s finally upon us, the moment we have all been waiting for – England’s first match in the South Africa World Cup against the Stars & Stripes of the USA.
Football fever has struck the staff at Eflex Computers like a plague of feisty jockstraps, and they have all been filing into Gary’s makeshift Big Brother Diary Room to give us their views on our nations’ chances.
Opinions differ wildly, but here’s what they had to say:
Jan – well I think as long as they all get a decent cup of tea at half time, and they don’t over-do it in the warm up they have a great chance. I don’t think Heskey will ever score for his country, because he doesn’t for Villa. But I hear he makes a good cuppa, so maybe that’s why he’s in the squad?
Alex – Milner and Heskey will win it for us! And Joe Hart will save thirteen penalties. The Midlanders will win it for England, I stake my moustache on it!
Kirstie – Beckham will be the hero. He always has been. He’s so cute. They call him Golden Balls don’t they? Well, that’s because he has the golden touch whenever he strokes his balls around the playing surface…what? He’s injured? Oh. Uhm. Well, I don’t know then…
Paul – as a player myself, I just wish I was there. I could add so much to the team. I score more than Heskey, and I play in a better team. I could teach him a thing or two, or maybe three. Scoring is easy. It’s a simple game. Just gimme the ball, and I’ll score. They call me ‘The Doog’, you know? After Derek Dougan, you know him? Ace player, and they say I’m just as good in the air…
(There’s a knock on the Diary Room door at this point, and Gary comes in to tell Paul that he’s dreaming, waffling, and wasting time, there’s still computers and cheap laptops to build, so get to it!
Paul comes back to Earth, blinks a few times, realises where he is, and leaves feeling a little disoriented).
Gary – the way I see it is this, we should have got Mourinho in as soon as Inter Milan won the Champions League, we should have sacked Capello and pounced on Jose. He’s the man. The FA should have acted quickly, and got him at all costs, three million, ten million, fifty million, money doesn’t matter they wasted enough on those other losers. Mourinho’s the special one. He’d get the England boys up and running. With all those Chelsea players in the squad, he’d have bonded so well, he’d have spurred them to new heights - mainly how to win a bloody game without giving us all cardiac arrests! It’s an opportunity missed in my book. Capello is just another Sven & McClaren disguised as Postman Pat. What good is having a cartoon character as manager of the national team? It’s a joke…
(There’s another knock on the door – it’s Alex, Jan, Paul and Kirstie telling Gary to stop ranting and get back to work! Gary gets up, has a dizzy spell, and calls for a medic).
Never mind Gary. We all have an opinion on football. But when it comes to the national team in a major tournament all that really needs to be said is – Come on En-ger-land!
Football fever has struck the staff at Eflex Computers like a plague of feisty jockstraps, and they have all been filing into Gary’s makeshift Big Brother Diary Room to give us their views on our nations’ chances.
Opinions differ wildly, but here’s what they had to say:
Jan – well I think as long as they all get a decent cup of tea at half time, and they don’t over-do it in the warm up they have a great chance. I don’t think Heskey will ever score for his country, because he doesn’t for Villa. But I hear he makes a good cuppa, so maybe that’s why he’s in the squad?
Alex – Milner and Heskey will win it for us! And Joe Hart will save thirteen penalties. The Midlanders will win it for England, I stake my moustache on it!
Kirstie – Beckham will be the hero. He always has been. He’s so cute. They call him Golden Balls don’t they? Well, that’s because he has the golden touch whenever he strokes his balls around the playing surface…what? He’s injured? Oh. Uhm. Well, I don’t know then…
Paul – as a player myself, I just wish I was there. I could add so much to the team. I score more than Heskey, and I play in a better team. I could teach him a thing or two, or maybe three. Scoring is easy. It’s a simple game. Just gimme the ball, and I’ll score. They call me ‘The Doog’, you know? After Derek Dougan, you know him? Ace player, and they say I’m just as good in the air…
(There’s a knock on the Diary Room door at this point, and Gary comes in to tell Paul that he’s dreaming, waffling, and wasting time, there’s still computers and cheap laptops to build, so get to it!
Paul comes back to Earth, blinks a few times, realises where he is, and leaves feeling a little disoriented).
Gary – the way I see it is this, we should have got Mourinho in as soon as Inter Milan won the Champions League, we should have sacked Capello and pounced on Jose. He’s the man. The FA should have acted quickly, and got him at all costs, three million, ten million, fifty million, money doesn’t matter they wasted enough on those other losers. Mourinho’s the special one. He’d get the England boys up and running. With all those Chelsea players in the squad, he’d have bonded so well, he’d have spurred them to new heights - mainly how to win a bloody game without giving us all cardiac arrests! It’s an opportunity missed in my book. Capello is just another Sven & McClaren disguised as Postman Pat. What good is having a cartoon character as manager of the national team? It’s a joke…
(There’s another knock on the door – it’s Alex, Jan, Paul and Kirstie telling Gary to stop ranting and get back to work! Gary gets up, has a dizzy spell, and calls for a medic).
Never mind Gary. We all have an opinion on football. But when it comes to the national team in a major tournament all that really needs to be said is – Come on En-ger-land!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Big Brother 2010
Imagine – a room full of young people, living together, sharing their lives, their opinions, their experiences, eating, talking, doing tasks for rewards.
Sound familiar?
No, not the Big Brother House, I’m talking about the guys at Eflex Computers!
But unlike the Big Brother series that will be locking people up from the world for the next 50-odd days for the final time, the guys and gals at Eflex intend to be sticking around for a lot longer thanks to their business savvy.
But have you ever wondered what life is like inside the four walls of Eflex HQ at the moment?
Let’s have a Big Brother-style nose shall we (and don’t forget to put on that very heavy Geordie accent)…
And so, there she is. Kirstie, the spitting-image of Rachael (the Beyonce look-a-like on BB) swanning about the place as though she owns it at the moment having won the Britain’s Got Talent sweepstake last weekend, while the guys are busy trying to ignore her by talking shop, and planning the next batch of cheap laptops they will be refurbishing.
The current debate with the Eflex techie’s is which webcam has the highest resolution for capturing the all-important BB shower-scenes.
That and the nighttime bed-hopping.
Kirstie meanwhile has spent the last few hours trying to decide what to do with her winnings – should she do the honourable thing and treat the boys to some lunchtime KFC, or should she go for a lunchtime pedicure?
To be honest the boys just hope Kirstie goes for a pedicure AND a KFC on her own. That should keep her quiet for two hours. And it would give them enough time to wipe the Spellbound team off her computer screen so she can come back down to earth.
But the next worry is that Kirstie will become hooked to watching live streams of the BB feed from now until the end of the series.
Gary is seriously considering setting up his own Diary Room so that Alex and Paul can feel free to vent their views, and opinions, in confidence because it’s not always easy to talk to your best friend (or boss) about his girlfriend’s annoying habits to his face, especially when you’ve got a face like Gary’s. It has a strange way of suddenly changing colour very quickly.
Talking of faces, Gary looks remarkably like Dave, the Christian Minister in the BB House. But unlike Dave who claims to have visited the sun, the only sun Gary has seen is the tabloid newspaper.
Paul fancies himself as Aussie vehicle body builder John James, mainly because he thinks he can do a pretty good Oz accent. Which he can’t, but he won’t listen, and won’t stop saying everything in a voice that sounds more like a Welsh parrot, than blond Oz body builder.
Alex wants to be like Mario the half-Italian, because he has always wanted a gondola (even though he would never be able to use it on the Kennet & Avon because they are banned).
Jan has been stuck for choice, as there aren’t any over 40s on the BB show, so she’s going with Corin, the one with the Jordaneque bodice. It’s not because of that though, it’s just the Corin is the only one has a normal job: retail.
Oh, and here comes, Kirstie, back from her KFC pedicure…and suddenly there’s a mad scramble for the Diary Room…
To be continued…
Sound familiar?
No, not the Big Brother House, I’m talking about the guys at Eflex Computers!
But unlike the Big Brother series that will be locking people up from the world for the next 50-odd days for the final time, the guys and gals at Eflex intend to be sticking around for a lot longer thanks to their business savvy.
But have you ever wondered what life is like inside the four walls of Eflex HQ at the moment?
Let’s have a Big Brother-style nose shall we (and don’t forget to put on that very heavy Geordie accent)…
And so, there she is. Kirstie, the spitting-image of Rachael (the Beyonce look-a-like on BB) swanning about the place as though she owns it at the moment having won the Britain’s Got Talent sweepstake last weekend, while the guys are busy trying to ignore her by talking shop, and planning the next batch of cheap laptops they will be refurbishing.
The current debate with the Eflex techie’s is which webcam has the highest resolution for capturing the all-important BB shower-scenes.
That and the nighttime bed-hopping.
Kirstie meanwhile has spent the last few hours trying to decide what to do with her winnings – should she do the honourable thing and treat the boys to some lunchtime KFC, or should she go for a lunchtime pedicure?
To be honest the boys just hope Kirstie goes for a pedicure AND a KFC on her own. That should keep her quiet for two hours. And it would give them enough time to wipe the Spellbound team off her computer screen so she can come back down to earth.
But the next worry is that Kirstie will become hooked to watching live streams of the BB feed from now until the end of the series.
Gary is seriously considering setting up his own Diary Room so that Alex and Paul can feel free to vent their views, and opinions, in confidence because it’s not always easy to talk to your best friend (or boss) about his girlfriend’s annoying habits to his face, especially when you’ve got a face like Gary’s. It has a strange way of suddenly changing colour very quickly.
Talking of faces, Gary looks remarkably like Dave, the Christian Minister in the BB House. But unlike Dave who claims to have visited the sun, the only sun Gary has seen is the tabloid newspaper.
Paul fancies himself as Aussie vehicle body builder John James, mainly because he thinks he can do a pretty good Oz accent. Which he can’t, but he won’t listen, and won’t stop saying everything in a voice that sounds more like a Welsh parrot, than blond Oz body builder.
Alex wants to be like Mario the half-Italian, because he has always wanted a gondola (even though he would never be able to use it on the Kennet & Avon because they are banned).
Jan has been stuck for choice, as there aren’t any over 40s on the BB show, so she’s going with Corin, the one with the Jordaneque bodice. It’s not because of that though, it’s just the Corin is the only one has a normal job: retail.
Oh, and here comes, Kirstie, back from her KFC pedicure…and suddenly there’s a mad scramble for the Diary Room…
To be continued…
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Love is in the air
And They Call It Puppy Lu-u-u-uve…
You know what we were saying about Paul coming into work with a massive grin on his face and you just knew he was in love?
Well, same thing happened with Gary this morning, although his expression was more the look of a man who had just become a father for the first time.
Ahh, you didn’t know Kirstie was expecting.
She is, but she’s not the mother.
What!? I don’t understand. Has Gary been donating sperm again?
No, no, his seeds have remained in the packet.
So, what then?
Let’s allow Jan to explain. Jan is the unsung heroine of Eflex Computers. For it is thanks to her that all the products they send out arrive to their customers in pristine, tip-top condition. She’s the packer in other words.
But a much-loved packer…because she’s also Paul’s mum.
Ahh, don’t you just love family businesses? I do. I think they are the bedrock of British industry, the staple that binds society, and communities together.
Stuff BP, and their renegade capitalism! Keep it small, friendly.
And that’s just what you get at Eflex. Cheap laptops, or expensive top-of-the-range hi-tech PC’s. Computers for everyone, whatever the weather, with a friendly smile, and great customer service.
So that’s why you see Gary looking like a proud father – as he descends the stairs to see Jan with his brand new baby, his latest PC creation.
On this occasion, it is his new Superior Multi-Tasking 2.66 Ghz Quad! What a joy to behold.
Okay, on to the Christening.
The Custom Built Intel I5. Packed with high-testosterone power, it has been designed to provide maximum multi-tasking capability for the most strenuous of users.
This baby has Intel I5 Quad Core 750 Processor, delivering 2.66Ghz per core, 4Gb of DDR3 1333Mhz Ram, a massive 500Gb hard Drive, and a 1Gb Motherboard, with onboard graphics.
The Intel i5 is one of the fastest machines on the market, and ideal for both business and home users who demand serious performance from their machine.
And at £499.99, it is exceptional value.
No wonder Gary is looking pleased with himself.
“It’s true,” says Jan. “Every time Gaz comes down with one of his latest designs in his arms it’s just like watching a new dad, cradling his infant child. It’s so sweet”.
Maybe, but I’m not sure Kirstie would agree…
You know what we were saying about Paul coming into work with a massive grin on his face and you just knew he was in love?
Well, same thing happened with Gary this morning, although his expression was more the look of a man who had just become a father for the first time.
Ahh, you didn’t know Kirstie was expecting.
She is, but she’s not the mother.
What!? I don’t understand. Has Gary been donating sperm again?
No, no, his seeds have remained in the packet.
So, what then?
Let’s allow Jan to explain. Jan is the unsung heroine of Eflex Computers. For it is thanks to her that all the products they send out arrive to their customers in pristine, tip-top condition. She’s the packer in other words.
But a much-loved packer…because she’s also Paul’s mum.
Ahh, don’t you just love family businesses? I do. I think they are the bedrock of British industry, the staple that binds society, and communities together.
Stuff BP, and their renegade capitalism! Keep it small, friendly.
And that’s just what you get at Eflex. Cheap laptops, or expensive top-of-the-range hi-tech PC’s. Computers for everyone, whatever the weather, with a friendly smile, and great customer service.
So that’s why you see Gary looking like a proud father – as he descends the stairs to see Jan with his brand new baby, his latest PC creation.
On this occasion, it is his new Superior Multi-Tasking 2.66 Ghz Quad! What a joy to behold.
Okay, on to the Christening.
The Custom Built Intel I5. Packed with high-testosterone power, it has been designed to provide maximum multi-tasking capability for the most strenuous of users.
This baby has Intel I5 Quad Core 750 Processor, delivering 2.66Ghz per core, 4Gb of DDR3 1333Mhz Ram, a massive 500Gb hard Drive, and a 1Gb Motherboard, with onboard graphics.
The Intel i5 is one of the fastest machines on the market, and ideal for both business and home users who demand serious performance from their machine.
And at £499.99, it is exceptional value.
No wonder Gary is looking pleased with himself.
“It’s true,” says Jan. “Every time Gaz comes down with one of his latest designs in his arms it’s just like watching a new dad, cradling his infant child. It’s so sweet”.
Maybe, but I’m not sure Kirstie would agree…
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Staff Date
You know how you can always tell when someone is feeling particularly pleased with themselves, and that when that look is on a bloke it usually means he has scored with the opposite sex? Well you should have seen Paul’s face yesterday. Talk about Cheshire Cat.
Although he persisted in denying it most of the morning, it was clear to everyone that Paul must have met someone, somehow, somewhere. But he remained tight-lipped, despite his lips being permanently stretched in this perpetual grin. You could just see the boy was in love.
Alex became immediately jealous, and Gary and Kirstie began reminiscing on how they first met by chance in Asda’s cheap crisp aisle.
But Paul wasn’t giving anything away…until someone mentioned match.com and there was a sudden glimmer of recognition in Paul’s eyes, and it was clear he had been putting his computer to good use at last.
Of course Paul was really dying to tell everyone all about this goddess, and his resistance finally broke during elevenses when, with everyone gathered around the percolator, Paul recounted his bubbling, passionate affair with the girl of his dreams.
Giselle.
“What is she like, what is she like,” Kirstie twittered excitedly, hopping up and down, but no description was forthcoming.
But then it transpired that, despite his excitement, Paul hadn’t actually seen what the girl of his dreams looked like. Why? Was his cheap laptop malfunctioning Gary asked hastily, fearing the company’s high standards were slipping.
No, said Paul, there was nothing wrong with the laptop, it was as good as new (of course, seeing as he had built it!).
Giselle just hadn’t uploaded a photo, said Paul simply.
The room fell silent. Was he for real? Was she for real come to that? Was it possible to fall in love with someone you had never even seen a picture of?
Course it is, exclaimed Paul dismissing the others with a tutting whistle between his teeth. How could they be so shallow, feeble-minded, and so image-conscious?!
Gary, Kirstie and Alex were gobsmacked, but impressed at the same time. Gary has known Paul for years, and always had him down as a bit base. He now saw him in a totally new light.
It was only when they discovered what she did for a living that everyone sped off back to their jobs with deep groans bouncing off the walls.
Giselle was a traffic warden.
What? said Paul.
Although he persisted in denying it most of the morning, it was clear to everyone that Paul must have met someone, somehow, somewhere. But he remained tight-lipped, despite his lips being permanently stretched in this perpetual grin. You could just see the boy was in love.
Alex became immediately jealous, and Gary and Kirstie began reminiscing on how they first met by chance in Asda’s cheap crisp aisle.
But Paul wasn’t giving anything away…until someone mentioned match.com and there was a sudden glimmer of recognition in Paul’s eyes, and it was clear he had been putting his computer to good use at last.
Of course Paul was really dying to tell everyone all about this goddess, and his resistance finally broke during elevenses when, with everyone gathered around the percolator, Paul recounted his bubbling, passionate affair with the girl of his dreams.
Giselle.
“What is she like, what is she like,” Kirstie twittered excitedly, hopping up and down, but no description was forthcoming.
But then it transpired that, despite his excitement, Paul hadn’t actually seen what the girl of his dreams looked like. Why? Was his cheap laptop malfunctioning Gary asked hastily, fearing the company’s high standards were slipping.
No, said Paul, there was nothing wrong with the laptop, it was as good as new (of course, seeing as he had built it!).
Giselle just hadn’t uploaded a photo, said Paul simply.
The room fell silent. Was he for real? Was she for real come to that? Was it possible to fall in love with someone you had never even seen a picture of?
Course it is, exclaimed Paul dismissing the others with a tutting whistle between his teeth. How could they be so shallow, feeble-minded, and so image-conscious?!
Gary, Kirstie and Alex were gobsmacked, but impressed at the same time. Gary has known Paul for years, and always had him down as a bit base. He now saw him in a totally new light.
It was only when they discovered what she did for a living that everyone sped off back to their jobs with deep groans bouncing off the walls.
Giselle was a traffic warden.
What? said Paul.
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