And They Call It Puppy Lu-u-u-uve…
You know what we were saying about Paul coming into work with a massive grin on his face and you just knew he was in love?
Well, same thing happened with Gary this morning, although his expression was more the look of a man who had just become a father for the first time.
Ahh, you didn’t know Kirstie was expecting.
She is, but she’s not the mother.
What!? I don’t understand. Has Gary been donating sperm again?
No, no, his seeds have remained in the packet.
So, what then?
Let’s allow Jan to explain. Jan is the unsung heroine of Eflex Computers. For it is thanks to her that all the products they send out arrive to their customers in pristine, tip-top condition. She’s the packer in other words.
But a much-loved packer…because she’s also Paul’s mum.
Ahh, don’t you just love family businesses? I do. I think they are the bedrock of British industry, the staple that binds society, and communities together.
Stuff BP, and their renegade capitalism! Keep it small, friendly.
And that’s just what you get at Eflex. Cheap laptops, or expensive top-of-the-range hi-tech PC’s. Computers for everyone, whatever the weather, with a friendly smile, and great customer service.
So that’s why you see Gary looking like a proud father – as he descends the stairs to see Jan with his brand new baby, his latest PC creation.
On this occasion, it is his new Superior Multi-Tasking 2.66 Ghz Quad! What a joy to behold.
Okay, on to the Christening.
The Custom Built Intel I5. Packed with high-testosterone power, it has been designed to provide maximum multi-tasking capability for the most strenuous of users.
This baby has Intel I5 Quad Core 750 Processor, delivering 2.66Ghz per core, 4Gb of DDR3 1333Mhz Ram, a massive 500Gb hard Drive, and a 1Gb Motherboard, with onboard graphics.
The Intel i5 is one of the fastest machines on the market, and ideal for both business and home users who demand serious performance from their machine.
And at £499.99, it is exceptional value.
No wonder Gary is looking pleased with himself.
“It’s true,” says Jan. “Every time Gaz comes down with one of his latest designs in his arms it’s just like watching a new dad, cradling his infant child. It’s so sweet”.
Maybe, but I’m not sure Kirstie would agree…
Showing posts with label computer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label computer. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
So, this it, we’re getting closer to the big night – the Britain’s Got Talent Final 2010.
Who’s your money on?
Well, here in the Eflex Computer office we are holding a sweepstake, and have spent most of the week discussing our favourites.
Alex wants Janey Cutler to win because she reminds him of his dear Nana Dobie who used to sing to him at night, and when she was changing his nappies. He won’t admit this, and says he likes her because to sing like that at 81 years old is truly phenomenal. But Kirstie knows of his true passion - because she has seen photos of Nana Dobie in Alex’s wallet. (What Kirstie was doing in his wallet in the first place has yet to be established mind you!)
And who does Kirstie like? Well it’s not a surprise really – she has been adoring all the male torsos on show in the gymnastic troupe Spellbound. She denies her liking them has anything to do with flat bellies on young men, and says she is quite simply spellbound by their amazing feats of acrobatics. Of course, we know differently because we have seen the slide show screensaver she’s got running on her laptop, which has all the young guys on a perpetual loop.
In fact, Gary has caught Kirstie deliberately wasting time on her laptop so her screensaver will kick in every three minutes just so she can ogle the young flesh.
It’s becoming a bit of an obsession, and even Gary is getting worried. He came hobbling into the office the other day while she was at lunch, and told Paul that Kirstie had even got him trying some of the Spellbound routines at home. That’s why he was hobbling. Twisted his ankle spinning Kirstie around in some crazy re-enactment of Spellbound’s most dangerous stunt.
It’s all the more crazy because poor Gary is only five foot three – and Kirstie is almost twice his size!
As for Gary, well his money’s on Twist & Pulse, the dancing comedy duo from London. He says it’s because he just thinks they have the most talent. But Paul reckons it’s because secretly Gary has always wanted to dance like them.
(Paul has many tales to tell of the Dancing Gary from their days in Espana – but he’s saving them up for when he really needs them).
Kirstie, though reckons it’s the nifty tops the young lads are wearing that has caught Gary’s eye, as Gary has developed a taste for lurid reds and bright blues – you should see the background colours he puts on his computer.
And last but not least there’s Paul. He’s going for impressionist Paul Burling. Why? Because they share the same first name. Paul is what you might call a snob. He thinks these kinds of shows are just exploitative, and shallow.
I wonder if that’s because he was turned down once for Pop Idol? The rumour has it he was so bad they wouldn’t even let him on the stage.
Maybe Gary has some tales to tell about that…
Who’s your money on?
Well, here in the Eflex Computer office we are holding a sweepstake, and have spent most of the week discussing our favourites.
Alex wants Janey Cutler to win because she reminds him of his dear Nana Dobie who used to sing to him at night, and when she was changing his nappies. He won’t admit this, and says he likes her because to sing like that at 81 years old is truly phenomenal. But Kirstie knows of his true passion - because she has seen photos of Nana Dobie in Alex’s wallet. (What Kirstie was doing in his wallet in the first place has yet to be established mind you!)
And who does Kirstie like? Well it’s not a surprise really – she has been adoring all the male torsos on show in the gymnastic troupe Spellbound. She denies her liking them has anything to do with flat bellies on young men, and says she is quite simply spellbound by their amazing feats of acrobatics. Of course, we know differently because we have seen the slide show screensaver she’s got running on her laptop, which has all the young guys on a perpetual loop.
In fact, Gary has caught Kirstie deliberately wasting time on her laptop so her screensaver will kick in every three minutes just so she can ogle the young flesh.
It’s becoming a bit of an obsession, and even Gary is getting worried. He came hobbling into the office the other day while she was at lunch, and told Paul that Kirstie had even got him trying some of the Spellbound routines at home. That’s why he was hobbling. Twisted his ankle spinning Kirstie around in some crazy re-enactment of Spellbound’s most dangerous stunt.
It’s all the more crazy because poor Gary is only five foot three – and Kirstie is almost twice his size!
As for Gary, well his money’s on Twist & Pulse, the dancing comedy duo from London. He says it’s because he just thinks they have the most talent. But Paul reckons it’s because secretly Gary has always wanted to dance like them.
(Paul has many tales to tell of the Dancing Gary from their days in Espana – but he’s saving them up for when he really needs them).
Kirstie, though reckons it’s the nifty tops the young lads are wearing that has caught Gary’s eye, as Gary has developed a taste for lurid reds and bright blues – you should see the background colours he puts on his computer.
And last but not least there’s Paul. He’s going for impressionist Paul Burling. Why? Because they share the same first name. Paul is what you might call a snob. He thinks these kinds of shows are just exploitative, and shallow.
I wonder if that’s because he was turned down once for Pop Idol? The rumour has it he was so bad they wouldn’t even let him on the stage.
Maybe Gary has some tales to tell about that…
World Cup 2010 Offer
I was having dinner with my wife the other day, and she asked me what offers we were doing during the world cup. Everyone else was doing offers, shouldn’t we be?
I thought about it, but didn’t quite get the idea, she looked at me as if I were thick and said, “Buy one, get one free if England win the world cup”.
I choked on my tea, and scoffed that there was no way we could possibly do that! We couldn’t go around giving one computer away FREE, let alone dozens, not even our very cheapest.
She looked at me in that special way wives do when you have dissed their ideas, and went to watch TV. But I sat there, and wondered maybe a special offer wasn’t such a bad idea.
Next morning, I asked Paul what he thought about £50 cashback on all orders over £150 if England win the World Cup. He leapt on it in an instant, and he rushed off saying MY idea was great, and that he would get on the case right away, and muttered triumphantly, something like “it’s not as if it’s going to happen is it?”
I looked at Paul, like my wife had looked at me. I was going to explain that really it was my wife’s idea (honest, I was), but I was distracted by Paul’s apparent lack of faith in our premier league boys. How could be so sure we wouldn’t win.
Heskey, he replied.
He had a point of course. England really only has one world-class player in Rooney. The others are good, maybe some are great, but they are not “world-class”. Capello has a lot of thinking to do, and after that disappointing friendly against Mexico, I began to wonder perhaps Paul was right.
Of course, really I was more worried about the potential of opening us up to losing a week’s wages if we were to sell loads of machines, and England do go and win the cup! Not sure my wife would be too happy about that!
But the way Paul sees it, we are flying the flag of St. George with this promotion. We are getting behind the team, we are saying, come on support your national football heroes, come buy from us, and have faith. It shows we are not afraid, we have team spirit…bit like us here at Eflex.
Paul could see the cogs whirring. He knew it was my wife’s idea in the first place. He also knew I would have scoffed at it.
He knows me so well…
So here’s our Special ‘Come On England’ World Cup Football 2010 offer!
If England win the football World Cup in South Africa beginning on June 11th, each customer purchasing a Laptop or PC will receive £50 cashback, subject to the following conditions:
1) This offer is eligible on all laptops and PCs purchased between 6pm 28th May, 2010 and noon 11th June, 2010.
2) Laptop and PC purchases only (Accessory purchases are not included in this offer).
3) The offer applies only to transactions totalling over £150.00
4) The offer is limited to ONE cashback refund per household
5) Cashback will be issued back to the payment method ONLY.
6) If England win the World Cup in South Africa in June 2010, cashback will be settled, and refunded within 7 days of the completion of the World Cup tournament.
“Come On England!”
“Here,” said Paul, as he made the morning brew, “perhaps Frank and the boys will all rush to buy one…?”
Now that would be a surprise!
I thought about it, but didn’t quite get the idea, she looked at me as if I were thick and said, “Buy one, get one free if England win the world cup”.
I choked on my tea, and scoffed that there was no way we could possibly do that! We couldn’t go around giving one computer away FREE, let alone dozens, not even our very cheapest.
She looked at me in that special way wives do when you have dissed their ideas, and went to watch TV. But I sat there, and wondered maybe a special offer wasn’t such a bad idea.
Next morning, I asked Paul what he thought about £50 cashback on all orders over £150 if England win the World Cup. He leapt on it in an instant, and he rushed off saying MY idea was great, and that he would get on the case right away, and muttered triumphantly, something like “it’s not as if it’s going to happen is it?”
I looked at Paul, like my wife had looked at me. I was going to explain that really it was my wife’s idea (honest, I was), but I was distracted by Paul’s apparent lack of faith in our premier league boys. How could be so sure we wouldn’t win.
Heskey, he replied.
He had a point of course. England really only has one world-class player in Rooney. The others are good, maybe some are great, but they are not “world-class”. Capello has a lot of thinking to do, and after that disappointing friendly against Mexico, I began to wonder perhaps Paul was right.
Of course, really I was more worried about the potential of opening us up to losing a week’s wages if we were to sell loads of machines, and England do go and win the cup! Not sure my wife would be too happy about that!
But the way Paul sees it, we are flying the flag of St. George with this promotion. We are getting behind the team, we are saying, come on support your national football heroes, come buy from us, and have faith. It shows we are not afraid, we have team spirit…bit like us here at Eflex.
Paul could see the cogs whirring. He knew it was my wife’s idea in the first place. He also knew I would have scoffed at it.
He knows me so well…
So here’s our Special ‘Come On England’ World Cup Football 2010 offer!
If England win the football World Cup in South Africa beginning on June 11th, each customer purchasing a Laptop or PC will receive £50 cashback, subject to the following conditions:
1) This offer is eligible on all laptops and PCs purchased between 6pm 28th May, 2010 and noon 11th June, 2010.
2) Laptop and PC purchases only (Accessory purchases are not included in this offer).
3) The offer applies only to transactions totalling over £150.00
4) The offer is limited to ONE cashback refund per household
5) Cashback will be issued back to the payment method ONLY.
6) If England win the World Cup in South Africa in June 2010, cashback will be settled, and refunded within 7 days of the completion of the World Cup tournament.
“Come On England!”
“Here,” said Paul, as he made the morning brew, “perhaps Frank and the boys will all rush to buy one…?”
Now that would be a surprise!
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