England Algeria 2010 World Cup

So, England’s second match in the 2010 World Cup is just hours away – and once again the staff at Eflex Computers have taken a break from building their customised computers and cheap laptops to tell us what they make of the team’s chances.

Let’s go to Gary’s Big Brother Diary Room to find out…

Jan – I take back everything I said about Heskey, apparently he makes a terrible cup of tea. In fact I have it on good authority that he has never actually made a cup of tea in his life. Why? Apparently he keeps missing the cup when he goes to drop the teabag in! My good friend Mavis Pinshaw told me so. She’s out there now. She’s the laundry lady to the England team. She says they’re all terrible dribblers; leave such a scummy mess on their kit after every match.

Alex – My kid reckons they should stick Peter Crouch in goal. He reckons the mere sight of the beanstalk between the sticks would stop anyone from shooting because they would be too busy laughing, or being confused by the sight of him between the posts. He’s taller than the actual goals, isn’t he?

Kirstie – (unfortunately she was unavailable for comment as she hasn’t been able to stop crying since she discovered Beckham was only with the squad for moral support. She was hoping to get a peek of his athletic support, but now that looks very unlikely with Golden Balls very much wrapped up in a suit for the next few weeks!)

Gary – The way I see it is this: we should just shoot on sight. That jabalaba ball is wicked. As poor Greeny found out last week. Trouble is everyone is shooting from too close to the goal. They should be shooting from the halfway line. Just pepper the Algerian net with shots all game long, from around the halfway line. Rooney could do it, and Lamps has got a hefty shot on him. Stevie G too. Even Barry. Glen Johnson’s got a great left peg on him. But not Heskey. No. Just leave him up front on his own to pester the defence, while the others just shoot, shoot, shoot! One of them is bound to go in eventually! Especially if Lamps does most of the work. It’s a well known fact that half of all the goals he’s ever scored are deflections. You just don’t know what will happen.

Paul – Geez mum, why didn’t you tell me Mavis was going over to South Africa? She could have got me a ticket! You know how much I wanted to go! You’re so mean mum. Mavis could have got me a job even. I would even wash their jockstraps if I had too – by hand! That’s how much I love our boys. I’d do anything to go! What’s Mavis’s number, mum? I could give her a call, she might be able to get over there still. Mum….mum….?

Back to building computers and laptops then Paul :-)