Eflex Computers Blog

Rigorous testing made fun

2010-06-25T03:45:00.000-07:00

Partners Gary and Paul are so proud of their service they sometimes go to extreme lengths to ensure their products reach the highest standards their customers expect.

This sometimes means rigorous test-runs.

The Dell D610 is designed for people on the move, and is one of their most popular refurbished notebooks, being a high quality durable laptop suitable for business and home use.

The key words here are “on the move”. So to prove the D610’s capability Gary sent Paul on a mini road trip.

Where am I going then Gaz? asked Paul.

How about Glasgow?

Glasgow? Why Glasgow?

Dunno, says Gary, does it matter?

Paul shrugged his shoulders. Suppose not (although he did get the sense Gary was trying to get rid of him for the day).

So off he went, his Dell Latitude slung over his shoulder, Glasgow-bound.

Keep in touch, said Gary. This is a road test mate, not a jolly away day.

What he meant was, “no chatting up the ladies”.

Paul looked dejected. Since Giselle the traffic warden had gone, he was feeling pretty lonely. An away day road trip was just what he needed – after all part of the adventure of an away day was hoping you might catch the eye of a beautiful stranger.

9.30am: Birmingham Train Station. Paul gets his ticket, has twenty minutes to wait, grabs himself an espresso and logs on to call Gary.

On my way, he types.

Okay, replies Gary.

Paul logs off, takes a glug of coffee, looks up, and sees a smiling face.

Hello, says Paul…

10.00am: The train to Glasgow arrives.

But Paul doesn’t get on. There is no sign of him.

Gary doesn’t hear from him until 12noon.

On the train, says the message.

Okay, Gary types back. How’s the Dell holding up?

Fine, says Paul. The AC power adapters and battery are working well, the Intel Centrino 1.7 Ghz processor is up to scratch, the four ports are working perfectly, and the 40 gig hard drive is performing exceptionally. It’s a big thumbs up Gaz. And it’s compact silver appearance is getting some admiring looks too.

I hope you’re behaving yourself, says Gary.

Course I am, replies Paul, relax. It’s businessmen who are doing the admiring.

4pm: The train from Birmingham arrives at Glasgow.

I’m here, says Paul.

Okay, says Gary. Nice work. Hurry back.

Okay, Paul replies. There’s a train home in ten minutes.

4.10pm: The train to Birmingham departs.

4.30pm: Paul arrives back at the Eflex Computers offices.

Gary is bewildered.

What the hell?

I didn’t go, explains Paul. I didn’t get on the train to Glasgow.

What? Gary exclaims.

I bumped into Giselle earlier when having my espresso. She was meant to be going to a traffic warden’s convention in Wales. But we spent the day together at Birmingham zoo instead.

But…!

Relax. It was a good day. Giselle wants a cheap laptop, and I’ve sold ten D610’s to the zoo.

Gary shook his head, that Paul, never ceases to amaze him…

Computer saves the day

2010-06-24T02:15:00.000-07:00

Thank goodness for computers, eh?

What a lifesaver…especially when your television packs up just at the wrong moment.

And what moment could be more disastrous than your 32” TV going kaput three minutes before kick-off of the most important match England has ever played. (Although perhaps the way they are playing EVERY match is the most important match they have ever played!)

All the staff at Eflex Computers had come in to work two early so they could knock off two hours early to watch England take on Slovenia in the crucial, must-win game.

Gary, Paul, Kirstie, and Jan had all decided to go to the pub – but family-man Alex had promised to watch the match with his kids who had also been allowed to go home early (nice to see the education system gets their priorities right sometimes!)

So while Gary and the others were supping beer and nibbling pork scratchings with three minutes to go before kick-off, Alex was busy getting the lemonade, and Pringles together on a tray.

He was in the kitchen signing “Three Lions On A Shirt” quite loudly to himself, when he was interrupted by the sound of his son and daughter screaming:

Dad! Dad! The telly’s gone! The telly’s gone!

Alex rushes in to find a smoking Goodmans smouldering away on the smoke-grey tabletop, and puts his hands to his head in utter dismay.

“Do something, dad,” the kids scream, “do something!”

It was obvious by the wisps of grey emanating from the back of the set that it wasn’t a simple fuse problem.

Okay, says Alex in his calmest voice. There’s only one thing to do – reach for the loft!

What? his kids wail.

The spare TV, of course.

But it’s only a 14” and anyway, it doesn’t have a scart socket.

Oh yeah, says Alex.

Come on dad, only a minute to go.

What about the PC, says his daughter knowingly. Of course! thinks Alex. Why didn’t I think of that? Because you’re a twit, says his son under his breath, as Alex rushes over to their AMD home computer and it’s glorious 19-inch widescreen monitor, super VGA graphics, and mega fast 160 gig hard drive! Ideal for a family with young children, the AM3 Sempron processor makes it perfect for day-to-day home and office use…and for watching live television streaming!

And within seconds, Alex has got the home computer up and running, just in time to see Wayne Rooney staring at them during the national anthems.

Phew! Say his kids, that was close. And England made sure they got one-step closer to that elusive prize – the World Cup - with a great Jermain Defoe strike, and a much better all-round display, that leaves everyone at Eflex shouting once again: Come On England!

Dell D400 Pink Laptop

2010-06-23T01:48:00.000-07:00

Kirstie was gazing at her new present lovingly. Gary had given it to her as a surprise, because he liked giving Kirstie surprises. He's a bit of an old romantic is Gary.

Okay, so it was one of his cheap computers (no expense spared there then Gary?).

But it was still a surprise.

Well, okay, maybe it wasn't that much of a surprise. Gary gives Kirstie a new computer about once a month. Kirstie thinks he's beeing nice – and Gary smiles nicely and says, that's because he is nice – but really Gary is just using Kirstie as a guinea pig to try out their latest cheap laptop.

The one Kirstie was looking at now was a Dell D400. It has a pink lid, and is very eye-catching. It is the sort of possession one feels like hugging. And being a laptop, hugging is really quite do-able.

And that was the first thing Kirstie did when she pulled it free from the wrapping paper (Gary always wrapped his presents up, because that's the sort of person he is: thoughtful, kind…clever…he knows Kirstie trills at the sight of a wrapped present).

So what does this one do then luv? Kirstie asked

Well, pet, said Gary, it's ready to use straight out of the box for all your emailing, word processing, spreadsheets and so on, but you've also got Wifi wireless internet access, and Windows XP Pro, and a massive 40 gig hardrive. How about that then?

Cool, said Kirstie. It's lovely.

And it's got a wicked pink lid, eh?

I know, trilled Kirstie, it's gorgeous!

She continued to hug it like she once hugged her pet pony, and kept stroking the lid with a huge smile on her face. But Gary was eager to see her try it out.

Well, plug it in then, he said a little impatiently.

Okay, said Kirstie, what's the rush?

I need a letter written, said Gary.

That was typical of Gary too, always ended up spoiling the surprises. Kirstie gave him a look, as she booted-up the Dell, and entered Word.

Who's it to then? said Kirstie a little grudgingly.

Venetia Tours.

Who are they, asked Kirstie.

The travel agent's I'm booking our holiday with.

Kirstie looked up at Gary with surprise, and broke out into another wide smile.

Venice! We're going to Venice?

Gary nodded his head pleased with Kirstie's reaction.

Kirstie loved surprises.

And Gary loved providing them…

Wimbledon is here

2010-06-22T04:47:00.000-07:00

When Kirstie walked into the Eflex Computers offices yesterday, everyone stopped and stared. Hair in a ponytail, tight-fitting Lacoste tee shirt, bright white Addidas tennis shoes…and a very short white skirt.

But it’s not just the look. Kirstie also had a racquet. And balls. A set of matching green towels, and a huge kit bag big enough carry Andy Murray in.

Everyone thought she had gone mad.

No, said Gary. She does this every year. And she’ll come in like this for the next two weeks. It’s Wimbledon, of course. It’s her time to shine.

What do you mean? asked Paul, Alex and Jan.

Well, said Gary as they all took a break from building cheap laptops and computers, it all starts back when Kirstie was a kid of 11. She was playing tennis in the local park with her mum, and dad, and little brother when this guy came up and said he was a tennis coach. He had been watching Kirstie and thought she had a lot of potential.

This coach turned out to be none other than John Lloyd.

What, said Jan in amazement, the one who married Chrissie Evert?

No, said Gary, this was a different John Lloyd, from Hull.

Oh, said Jan, but you made it sound like it was the John Lloyd.

Yeah I know, said Gary. Anyway, this John Lloyd was very taken with Kirstie, and became her coach, with her parent’s permission of course, and spent the next year working on her game. Anyhow, she became so good that when she 14 she was selected to play for West Midlands Youth Tennis, and entered many tournaments around the country.

And one of these was at Wimbledon.

Ah, said Jan, is that where those towels come from?

That is correct, said Gary.

Anyhow, Kirstie got to play on the centre court at Wimbledon in front of 30 people, and it was the best day she ever had.

Did she win? asked Paul.

No, lost 6-0, 6-0, and only won two points…and that was only because her opponent double-faulted twice on her serve.

But you’ll never guess who she lost to?

Who? wondered Paul, Alex, and Jan eagerly, who?

Beth Cartwright of Norwich.

Who’s she? asked Alex looking baffled.

I dunno, said Gary. But I told you, you wouldn’t guess!

Anyway, that was the best day of her life, and the highlight of her tennis career, as she soon discovered boys, her practise went out the window, and that was that.

But ever since that momentous day back in 1996, Kirstie has this love affair with Wimbledon, and every year she dresses up for the part, and sort of re-lives the experience. Of course, she loves tennis anyway, and always supports the British players, hoping, like everyone else, that one of them will do well, and lift that coveted trophy.

But can he do it? Can Andy Murray become the first British player to successfully hit enough balls over the net to win Wimbledon since Mr Perry went large all those years ago. It’s got to happen one day…

Gaming on your home computer

2010-06-21T09:36:00.000-07:00

Geoff Hurst, to Bryan Robson, Robson to Ball, Ball to Stiles, who spreads a cross field pass to Gazza who suddenly beats three men on a sixpence with a flick, a twist and a mini Cruyff turn, shares a one-two with Shearer, and then squares it to Stanley Matthews who races on to the ball and thumps into the back of the net! GOAL!!!!

England 3, Slovenia 0!

And they’ve only played five minutes.

From the kick-off, the Slovenians shoot, a long, high kick that bounces harmlessly out of play.

Shilton gathers the ball, places it on the six-yard line, and gently rolls a pass to Jack Charlton, ‘The Giraffe’.

But this surprise move from Shilts has caught Big Jack out. He doesn’t seem to know what to do with the ball now, now that it is at his feet.

But he doesn’t panic, and starts to walk forward calmly, team-mates buzzing around him, anticipating a pass, creating space, taking opposing players with them, waiting for Big Jack to offload the ball.

But Big Jack doesn’t release the ball. He suddenly seems to like having it under his control.

And then he seems to get an idea.

Ignoring everyone around him, the giant centre back has a new ambition – cross the halfway line.

My God, everyone shouts, he thinks he’s Bobby Moore!

Charlton ambles up the field, side steps one Slovenian, and then another. The crowd begin to cheer wildly. They like this bold move, this sense of confidence.

Pass it, Jack! Pass it, his England colleagues scream.

But instead of passing, Charlton continues out of defence, beating two more Slovenians, with a shimmy, and shammy, and then a third with a Ronaldo step-over, until he finds himself surprisingly deep into enemy territory.

But he doesn’t panic, does Big Jack, and beats one more Slovenian with a nutmeg.

And suddenly, the pass is on to his brother Bobby, who is bursting into the area, pointing wildly where he wants it.

And brother Jackie doesn’t fail, sliding an inch-perfect pass into Bobby’s path, and the rest is a formality, a Charlton rocket thunderbolting into the net from the edge of the D.

GOALLLL!!!

The Charlton Brothers hug each other beaming widely, while John Motson screams, “England 4, Slovenia 0” in the commentary, adding, “Boy, this England team really mean business tonight.”

And the fans go wild, as the England players celebrate…and Gary, and Paul do high-5s.

Nice pass mate, says Gary to Paul.

Cheers, good finish, says Paul. If only it would be this easy on Wednesday, eh?

As easy as Fifa 2010? Yeah that would be heaven, says Gary.

Thank goodness too for the Intel Home Gaming PC, says Paul. Makes playing Fifa 2010 a whole lot easier and quicker after the overhaul we’ve been giving them.

Well it is one of our most popular models from the old range, so hopefully it will become even more popular, eh? says Gary. The new components inside mean it now has even more power and performance than ever before. This system really is priced to sell and I doubt anyone will find a better price anywhere else.

I should say so, says Paul. Anyone looking for a low priced PC for gaming with a dedictaed 1Gb graphics card that can give them everything they are looking for in a mid range PC, then this baby is definitely the one for them at £379.99.

Built in a very stylish Galaxy III case, too, says Gary.

Their friends will be green with envy, says Paul.

England Algeria 2010 World Cup

2010-06-18T03:36:00.000-07:00

So, England’s second match in the 2010 World Cup is just hours away – and once again the staff at Eflex Computers have taken a break from building their customised computers and cheap laptops to tell us what they make of the team’s chances.

Let’s go to Gary’s Big Brother Diary Room to find out…

Jan – I take back everything I said about Heskey, apparently he makes a terrible cup of tea. In fact I have it on good authority that he has never actually made a cup of tea in his life. Why? Apparently he keeps missing the cup when he goes to drop the teabag in! My good friend Mavis Pinshaw told me so. She’s out there now. She’s the laundry lady to the England team. She says they’re all terrible dribblers; leave such a scummy mess on their kit after every match.

Alex – My kid reckons they should stick Peter Crouch in goal. He reckons the mere sight of the beanstalk between the sticks would stop anyone from shooting because they would be too busy laughing, or being confused by the sight of him between the posts. He’s taller than the actual goals, isn’t he?

Kirstie – (unfortunately she was unavailable for comment as she hasn’t been able to stop crying since she discovered Beckham was only with the squad for moral support. She was hoping to get a peek of his athletic support, but now that looks very unlikely with Golden Balls very much wrapped up in a suit for the next few weeks!)

Gary – The way I see it is this: we should just shoot on sight. That jabalaba ball is wicked. As poor Greeny found out last week. Trouble is everyone is shooting from too close to the goal. They should be shooting from the halfway line. Just pepper the Algerian net with shots all game long, from around the halfway line. Rooney could do it, and Lamps has got a hefty shot on him. Stevie G too. Even Barry. Glen Johnson’s got a great left peg on him. But not Heskey. No. Just leave him up front on his own to pester the defence, while the others just shoot, shoot, shoot! One of them is bound to go in eventually! Especially if Lamps does most of the work. It’s a well known fact that half of all the goals he’s ever scored are deflections. You just don’t know what will happen.

Paul – Geez mum, why didn’t you tell me Mavis was going over to South Africa? She could have got me a ticket! You know how much I wanted to go! You’re so mean mum. Mavis could have got me a job even. I would even wash their jockstraps if I had too – by hand! That’s how much I love our boys. I’d do anything to go! What’s Mavis’s number, mum? I could give her a call, she might be able to get over there still. Mum….mum….?

Back to building computers and laptops then Paul :-)

House hunting with eflex computers

2010-06-17T02:54:00.000-07:00

There has never been a better time to buy a house. Prices have dropped, and mortgages are being offered again, so it’s not a question of affordability for Eflex Computer lovebirds Gary and Kirstie.

No, the sticking point is location-location!

At the moment the parents-to-be are camping out in the storeroom at the Eflex HQ. It’s cosy, if a little claustrophobic. Pretty airless too come to that, but Kirstie has fun popping the bubble-wrap in the evening, while Gary busies himself fashioning cardboard huts. He likes to build a new one each night.

So finding a new home is quite high on the list of priorities for the pair of them, especially with a young ‘un on the way.

The sticking point?

Well, Kirstie has her eye on a two-bed job in the swanky, leafy suburbs of Beltup Vue, just off the M5.

Gary fancies the top-floor apartment in the block overlooking Molineaux. It’s been vacant for years, and the price has dropped staggeringly…and it looks right over the ground. Gary says the pitch is so lovely you would only have to look out at that, and there would be your countryside view. He reckons if you arranged some pot plants cleverly on the windowsill, you could actually create the impression of a garden from both a standing, and sitting position.

As you can tell, Gary doesn’t do gardening.

But Kirstie would adore a little patch for the young Parfitt to run around in, and has been trying to make Gary see sense.

Of course, seeing sense is what Gary is good at. After all he realised how he could make a successful business with refurbished cheap laptops, and PCs, and has built up an ever-expanding computer company.

It doesn’t help Kirstie that Paul has been sticking his oar in. Paul lives near Molineaux too, and in fact it was he who pointed out the apartment to Gary. For some reason Paul had his binoculars with him one day and just happened to be gazing up at the block of flats when he saw the “For Sale” sign on the window, and immediately rang his pal.

Gary went to have a look at lunchtime, and fell in love with the place. Paul did too, but obviously he wasn’t Kirstie, so that wasn’t much good.

Gary has been using all his business savvy to persuade Kirstie that buying this apartment actually makes sense because a) it is cheap, and b) it would be an ideal first-time buyer investment.

It would give them time to save more, and buy an even better place in a few years time, whereas if they go all out for swank now, they will find it harder to move on later.

Kirstie wasn’t sure if that was quite right at first, but Gary’s pretty good with the psychology…and Kirstie has now started to wonder.

To be honest the only thing Kirstie has really been worried about is the lifts. As we all know, lifts have a tendency to become public lavatories, and Kirstie is not too keen on the idea of going up and down in a toilet every day.

Paul says that’s easy to get over – Kirstie should just stick some bubble-wrap up her nostrils before getting into the lifts, because bubble wrap is known for its’ odour absorption. Kirstie has threatened to stuff the bubble wrap somewhere on Paul where the sun doesn’t shine.

So for now, it’s back to the storeroom and cardboard huts for Gary and Kirstie, while Paul continues to wander around the streets with his binoculars…

To be continued.

2010-06-16T04:41:00.000-07:00

“You know, have you ever considered how important the colour pink is?” Gary said yesterday while musing to Paul.

Paul said he hadn’t. He didn’t like the colour.

Gary looked disappointed. Then he explained to Paul that pink was actually a sign of high social standing in Elizabethan times, and that the men used to wear pink tights under their funny waistcoats. There was a law in England called The English Sumptary Laws. It stated that only the lower classes, and the upper classes could wear pink clothing.

Maybe, said Gary, that is where the word “sumptious” comes from.

Paul chocked on his hob-nob, and scoffed that we don’t live in Elizabethan times.

Gary said that was not exactly true – what’s the name of the current Queen he asked. Paul conceded Gary had a point there, but in reality we were not living in the Middle Ages.

Gary went on to say that even in Victorian times, right up to the 1940s, pink was considered a manly colour, whereas blue was considered feminine because blue was the colour associated with the Virgin Mary.

But now it’s “pink for a girl, blue for a boy,” Paul pointed out helpfully.

Gary said he knew that, he was just pointing out to Paul the interesting history of the colour pink.

Why? asked Paul.

Gary said he was fascinated with colours. Always had been. If he hadn’t become a computer expert building cheap laptops he would like to have been an artist, a painter, like Vermeer. He liked nice shades of pink.

By now Paul was becoming a little suspicious. What the hell was Gary going on about with all this pink malarkey?

Gary ignored Paul and went on to explain that pink was considered to be a calming colour, and that the giving of pink carnations is symbolic of saying, “I will never forget you”. Softer shades are considered feminine, but darker shades are said to alleviate feelings of friction. It is the colour of joy, and happiness.

Pink is a quiet colour, said Gary, pink is the colour of the lovers of beauty, pink is a symbol of universal love! It gives off calm feelings, neutralises disorder, gives rise to relaxation, and contentment.

It is said that you should wear pink when you want to present yourself as a peaceful person, someone who is not threatening.

“Ahah!” said Paul suddenly. “I know what this about. You want me to wear pink at that business presentation, don’t you?”

No, said Gary. But you will be taking the Pink Dell d600 with you.

So, said Paul.

It has a pink lid, said Gary. I just thought you should have some knowledge of pink behind you when talking about a pink laptop.

Paul waved his hob nob at Gary. He’s such a wily character is that Managing Director of Eflex Computers…

World Cup 2010

2010-06-15T06:16:00.000-07:00

Gary has been wondering why Paul is looking so agitated the past couple of days. Paul says it’s because he’s going to this important meeting in Brussels on behalf of the firm, yet Paul has been to many meetings. He’s an old hand in the role of “face of the company”, the perfect suit for shifting cheap laptops, and computers.
Gary can’t work out why Paul is looking so pressured - but the truth is smellier than a pan of three-week old sprouts.
Paul has been feverishly trying to get his hands on a World Cup ticket…and is using a company meeting as an excuse to go.
He’s looked high, he’s looked low, he’s tried everything possible, but it’s just not working. Getting his hands on one is as elusive as the thought of wanting to get your hands on a traffic warden. The thought is just too alien. The idea of getting hold of a ticket is just as far-fetched.
Paul’s ditched Giselle in favour of following England – but just hasn’t managed to get hold of that gold dust ticket. Actually, it was the other way round – Giselle dumped Paul because he tried to get her to give him hers. She’s going, because she’s doing job-exchange with a parking attendant in South Africa.
That annoyed Paul even more. No ticket, no girlfriend. Double whammy.
Paul has even got Alex helping him out. Together they have been trying to create a fake ticket on Windows Paint, but it’s just not working somehow.
Jan, like the good mum she is, has suggested he ring Terry Venables – but that’s only because she fancies him when he’s doing his Frank Sinatra impression in the TV advert, and thinks somehow Mr. Venables will give Paul a ticket in return for a date with her. (That’s what comes of being in the basement packing computers all day Jan!)
It’s not looking good for Paul – so if anyone out there can help, get in touch with him at Eflex Computers…otherwise he may find himself chasing wild geese in Belgium, when he would rather be blowing a bambazoola in Cape Town!

Dell Inspiron 1545

2010-06-14T03:03:00.000-07:00

Gary had this weird dream the other night. He dreamt he was Del Boy Trotter.

Not only that, but Gary was standing in the local market giving the Trotter spiel.

What was he flogging? Computers of course!

But not any old junk. These were the Dell Inspiron 1545 Laptops.

And in his dream Gary soon found he was doing a roaring trade – with the ladies.

It’s not that Gary is that much of a Casanova with the gift of the gab – it’s just that the ladies were overcome by the seductive qualities of the rather eye-catching red microsatin lids!

Corr, what a stunner!

Gary couldn’t sell them quick enough – but it’s when he suddenly ran out of stock from his beat-up Trotter suitcase that Gary began to sweat, and had to beat a hasty retreat back to the Eflex Computers offices, a thousand women chasing him clamouring to get their mits on his hardware!

(Or should that be software with Kirstie breathing down your neck?)

But it’s easy to see why the ladies – or indeed anyone with an eye for a tasteful computer – would want to get their hands on an Eflex acquired Inspiron 1545.

That’s because they retail at only £319.99 with Gary and the gang. How come? Because at Eflex they have the expertise to acquire factory-returns, and re-sell them as “good as new”.

The Dell 1545 laptop is one of the most popular models ever produced by Dell. It has excellent build quality, and performs brilliantly.

Eflex are masters at what they do, and have A1 contacts in the field to acquire only the best in factory-returns. And that’s why they can pass on fabulous savings to their customers.

And you just wouldn’t know the difference between new and returned. Okay, Gary will admit the units they sell have a few faint marks on the eye-catching red lids, but hey, a bit of scarring is considered quite attractive by some.

Anyway, it’s a small price to pay for the huge reduction in price.

But Kirstie is now wondering whether Gary is actually going to try flogging them down the market.

He came home that night with a beat-up suitcase, and trademark Del Boy overcoat…

World Cup Is Here

2010-06-11T03:23:00.000-07:00

Well, it’s finally upon us, the moment we have all been waiting for – England’s first match in the South Africa World Cup against the Stars & Stripes of the USA.

Football fever has struck the staff at Eflex Computers like a plague of feisty jockstraps, and they have all been filing into Gary’s makeshift Big Brother Diary Room to give us their views on our nations’ chances.

Opinions differ wildly, but here’s what they had to say:

Jan – well I think as long as they all get a decent cup of tea at half time, and they don’t over-do it in the warm up they have a great chance. I don’t think Heskey will ever score for his country, because he doesn’t for Villa. But I hear he makes a good cuppa, so maybe that’s why he’s in the squad?

Alex – Milner and Heskey will win it for us! And Joe Hart will save thirteen penalties. The Midlanders will win it for England, I stake my moustache on it!

Kirstie – Beckham will be the hero. He always has been. He’s so cute. They call him Golden Balls don’t they? Well, that’s because he has the golden touch whenever he strokes his balls around the playing surface…what? He’s injured? Oh. Uhm. Well, I don’t know then…

Paul – as a player myself, I just wish I was there. I could add so much to the team. I score more than Heskey, and I play in a better team. I could teach him a thing or two, or maybe three. Scoring is easy. It’s a simple game. Just gimme the ball, and I’ll score. They call me ‘The Doog’, you know? After Derek Dougan, you know him? Ace player, and they say I’m just as good in the air…

(There’s a knock on the Diary Room door at this point, and Gary comes in to tell Paul that he’s dreaming, waffling, and wasting time, there’s still computers and cheap laptops to build, so get to it!

Paul comes back to Earth, blinks a few times, realises where he is, and leaves feeling a little disoriented).

Gary – the way I see it is this, we should have got Mourinho in as soon as Inter Milan won the Champions League, we should have sacked Capello and pounced on Jose. He’s the man. The FA should have acted quickly, and got him at all costs, three million, ten million, fifty million, money doesn’t matter they wasted enough on those other losers. Mourinho’s the special one. He’d get the England boys up and running. With all those Chelsea players in the squad, he’d have bonded so well, he’d have spurred them to new heights - mainly how to win a bloody game without giving us all cardiac arrests! It’s an opportunity missed in my book. Capello is just another Sven & McClaren disguised as Postman Pat. What good is having a cartoon character as manager of the national team? It’s a joke…

(There’s another knock on the door – it’s Alex, Jan, Paul and Kirstie telling Gary to stop ranting and get back to work! Gary gets up, has a dizzy spell, and calls for a medic).

Never mind Gary. We all have an opinion on football. But when it comes to the national team in a major tournament all that really needs to be said is – Come on En-ger-land!

Big Brother 2010

2010-06-10T07:28:00.000-07:00

Imagine – a room full of young people, living together, sharing their lives, their opinions, their experiences, eating, talking, doing tasks for rewards.

Sound familiar?

No, not the Big Brother House, I’m talking about the guys at Eflex Computers!

But unlike the Big Brother series that will be locking people up from the world for the next 50-odd days for the final time, the guys and gals at Eflex intend to be sticking around for a lot longer thanks to their business savvy.

But have you ever wondered what life is like inside the four walls of Eflex HQ at the moment?

Let’s have a Big Brother-style nose shall we (and don’t forget to put on that very heavy Geordie accent)…

And so, there she is. Kirstie, the spitting-image of Rachael (the Beyonce look-a-like on BB) swanning about the place as though she owns it at the moment having won the Britain’s Got Talent sweepstake last weekend, while the guys are busy trying to ignore her by talking shop, and planning the next batch of cheap laptops they will be refurbishing.

The current debate with the Eflex techie’s is which webcam has the highest resolution for capturing the all-important BB shower-scenes.

That and the nighttime bed-hopping.

Kirstie meanwhile has spent the last few hours trying to decide what to do with her winnings – should she do the honourable thing and treat the boys to some lunchtime KFC, or should she go for a lunchtime pedicure?

To be honest the boys just hope Kirstie goes for a pedicure AND a KFC on her own. That should keep her quiet for two hours. And it would give them enough time to wipe the Spellbound team off her computer screen so she can come back down to earth.

But the next worry is that Kirstie will become hooked to watching live streams of the BB feed from now until the end of the series.

Gary is seriously considering setting up his own Diary Room so that Alex and Paul can feel free to vent their views, and opinions, in confidence because it’s not always easy to talk to your best friend (or boss) about his girlfriend’s annoying habits to his face, especially when you’ve got a face like Gary’s. It has a strange way of suddenly changing colour very quickly.

Talking of faces, Gary looks remarkably like Dave, the Christian Minister in the BB House. But unlike Dave who claims to have visited the sun, the only sun Gary has seen is the tabloid newspaper.

Paul fancies himself as Aussie vehicle body builder John James, mainly because he thinks he can do a pretty good Oz accent. Which he can’t, but he won’t listen, and won’t stop saying everything in a voice that sounds more like a Welsh parrot, than blond Oz body builder.

Alex wants to be like Mario the half-Italian, because he has always wanted a gondola (even though he would never be able to use it on the Kennet & Avon because they are banned).

Jan has been stuck for choice, as there aren’t any over 40s on the BB show, so she’s going with Corin, the one with the Jordaneque bodice. It’s not because of that though, it’s just the Corin is the only one has a normal job: retail.

Oh, and here comes, Kirstie, back from her KFC pedicure…and suddenly there’s a mad scramble for the Diary Room…

To be continued…

Love is in the air

2010-06-09T04:38:00.000-07:00

And They Call It Puppy Lu-u-u-uve…

You know what we were saying about Paul coming into work with a massive grin on his face and you just knew he was in love?

Well, same thing happened with Gary this morning, although his expression was more the look of a man who had just become a father for the first time.

Ahh, you didn’t know Kirstie was expecting.

She is, but she’s not the mother.

What!? I don’t understand. Has Gary been donating sperm again?

No, no, his seeds have remained in the packet.

So, what then?

Let’s allow Jan to explain. Jan is the unsung heroine of Eflex Computers. For it is thanks to her that all the products they send out arrive to their customers in pristine, tip-top condition. She’s the packer in other words.

But a much-loved packer…because she’s also Paul’s mum.

Ahh, don’t you just love family businesses? I do. I think they are the bedrock of British industry, the staple that binds society, and communities together.

Stuff BP, and their renegade capitalism! Keep it small, friendly.

And that’s just what you get at Eflex. Cheap laptops, or expensive top-of-the-range hi-tech PC’s. Computers for everyone, whatever the weather, with a friendly smile, and great customer service.

So that’s why you see Gary looking like a proud father – as he descends the stairs to see Jan with his brand new baby, his latest PC creation.

On this occasion, it is his new Superior Multi-Tasking 2.66 Ghz Quad! What a joy to behold.

Okay, on to the Christening.

The Custom Built Intel I5. Packed with high-testosterone power, it has been designed to provide maximum multi-tasking capability for the most strenuous of users.

This baby has Intel I5 Quad Core 750 Processor, delivering 2.66Ghz per core, 4Gb of DDR3 1333Mhz Ram, a massive 500Gb hard Drive, and a 1Gb Motherboard, with onboard graphics.

The Intel i5 is one of the fastest machines on the market, and ideal for both business and home users who demand serious performance from their machine.

And at £499.99, it is exceptional value.

No wonder Gary is looking pleased with himself.

“It’s true,” says Jan. “Every time Gaz comes down with one of his latest designs in his arms it’s just like watching a new dad, cradling his infant child. It’s so sweet”.

Maybe, but I’m not sure Kirstie would agree…

Staff Date

2010-06-08T04:22:00.000-07:00

You know how you can always tell when someone is feeling particularly pleased with themselves, and that when that look is on a bloke it usually means he has scored with the opposite sex? Well you should have seen Paul’s face yesterday. Talk about Cheshire Cat.

Although he persisted in denying it most of the morning, it was clear to everyone that Paul must have met someone, somehow, somewhere. But he remained tight-lipped, despite his lips being permanently stretched in this perpetual grin. You could just see the boy was in love.

Alex became immediately jealous, and Gary and Kirstie began reminiscing on how they first met by chance in Asda’s cheap crisp aisle.

But Paul wasn’t giving anything away…until someone mentioned match.com and there was a sudden glimmer of recognition in Paul’s eyes, and it was clear he had been putting his computer to good use at last.

Of course Paul was really dying to tell everyone all about this goddess, and his resistance finally broke during elevenses when, with everyone gathered around the percolator, Paul recounted his bubbling, passionate affair with the girl of his dreams.

Giselle.

“What is she like, what is she like,” Kirstie twittered excitedly, hopping up and down, but no description was forthcoming.

But then it transpired that, despite his excitement, Paul hadn’t actually seen what the girl of his dreams looked like. Why? Was his cheap laptop malfunctioning Gary asked hastily, fearing the company’s high standards were slipping.

No, said Paul, there was nothing wrong with the laptop, it was as good as new (of course, seeing as he had built it!).

Giselle just hadn’t uploaded a photo, said Paul simply.

The room fell silent. Was he for real? Was she for real come to that? Was it possible to fall in love with someone you had never even seen a picture of?

Course it is, exclaimed Paul dismissing the others with a tutting whistle between his teeth. How could they be so shallow, feeble-minded, and so image-conscious?!

Gary, Kirstie and Alex were gobsmacked, but impressed at the same time. Gary has known Paul for years, and always had him down as a bit base. He now saw him in a totally new light.

It was only when they discovered what she did for a living that everyone sped off back to their jobs with deep groans bouncing off the walls.

Giselle was a traffic warden.

What? said Paul.

2010-06-04T08:00:00.000-07:00

So, this it, we’re getting closer to the big night – the Britain’s Got Talent Final 2010.

Who’s your money on?

Well, here in the Eflex Computer office we are holding a sweepstake, and have spent most of the week discussing our favourites.

Alex wants Janey Cutler to win because she reminds him of his dear Nana Dobie who used to sing to him at night, and when she was changing his nappies. He won’t admit this, and says he likes her because to sing like that at 81 years old is truly phenomenal. But Kirstie knows of his true passion - because she has seen photos of Nana Dobie in Alex’s wallet. (What Kirstie was doing in his wallet in the first place has yet to be established mind you!)

And who does Kirstie like? Well it’s not a surprise really – she has been adoring all the male torsos on show in the gymnastic troupe Spellbound. She denies her liking them has anything to do with flat bellies on young men, and says she is quite simply spellbound by their amazing feats of acrobatics. Of course, we know differently because we have seen the slide show screensaver she’s got running on her laptop, which has all the young guys on a perpetual loop.

In fact, Gary has caught Kirstie deliberately wasting time on her laptop so her screensaver will kick in every three minutes just so she can ogle the young flesh.

It’s becoming a bit of an obsession, and even Gary is getting worried. He came hobbling into the office the other day while she was at lunch, and told Paul that Kirstie had even got him trying some of the Spellbound routines at home. That’s why he was hobbling. Twisted his ankle spinning Kirstie around in some crazy re-enactment of Spellbound’s most dangerous stunt.

It’s all the more crazy because poor Gary is only five foot three – and Kirstie is almost twice his size!

As for Gary, well his money’s on Twist & Pulse, the dancing comedy duo from London. He says it’s because he just thinks they have the most talent. But Paul reckons it’s because secretly Gary has always wanted to dance like them.

(Paul has many tales to tell of the Dancing Gary from their days in Espana – but he’s saving them up for when he really needs them).

Kirstie, though reckons it’s the nifty tops the young lads are wearing that has caught Gary’s eye, as Gary has developed a taste for lurid reds and bright blues – you should see the background colours he puts on his computer.

And last but not least there’s Paul. He’s going for impressionist Paul Burling. Why? Because they share the same first name. Paul is what you might call a snob. He thinks these kinds of shows are just exploitative, and shallow.

I wonder if that’s because he was turned down once for Pop Idol? The rumour has it he was so bad they wouldn’t even let him on the stage.

Maybe Gary has some tales to tell about that…

World Cup 2010 Offer

2010-06-04T03:48:00.000-07:00

I was having dinner with my wife the other day, and she asked me what offers we were doing during the world cup. Everyone else was doing offers, shouldn’t we be?

I thought about it, but didn’t quite get the idea, she looked at me as if I were thick and said, “Buy one, get one free if England win the world cup”.

I choked on my tea, and scoffed that there was no way we could possibly do that! We couldn’t go around giving one computer away FREE, let alone dozens, not even our very cheapest.

She looked at me in that special way wives do when you have dissed their ideas, and went to watch TV. But I sat there, and wondered maybe a special offer wasn’t such a bad idea.

Next morning, I asked Paul what he thought about £50 cashback on all orders over £150 if England win the World Cup. He leapt on it in an instant, and he rushed off saying MY idea was great, and that he would get on the case right away, and muttered triumphantly, something like “it’s not as if it’s going to happen is it?”

I looked at Paul, like my wife had looked at me. I was going to explain that really it was my wife’s idea (honest, I was), but I was distracted by Paul’s apparent lack of faith in our premier league boys. How could be so sure we wouldn’t win.

Heskey, he replied.

He had a point of course. England really only has one world-class player in Rooney. The others are good, maybe some are great, but they are not “world-class”. Capello has a lot of thinking to do, and after that disappointing friendly against Mexico, I began to wonder perhaps Paul was right.

Of course, really I was more worried about the potential of opening us up to losing a week’s wages if we were to sell loads of machines, and England do go and win the cup! Not sure my wife would be too happy about that!

But the way Paul sees it, we are flying the flag of St. George with this promotion. We are getting behind the team, we are saying, come on support your national football heroes, come buy from us, and have faith. It shows we are not afraid, we have team spirit…bit like us here at Eflex.

Paul could see the cogs whirring. He knew it was my wife’s idea in the first place. He also knew I would have scoffed at it.

He knows me so well…

So here’s our Special ‘Come On England’ World Cup Football 2010 offer!

If England win the football World Cup in South Africa beginning on June 11th, each customer purchasing a Laptop or PC will receive £50 cashback, subject to the following conditions:

1) This offer is eligible on all laptops and PCs purchased between 6pm 28th May, 2010 and noon 11th June, 2010.

2) Laptop and PC purchases only (Accessory purchases are not included in this offer).

3) The offer applies only to transactions totalling over £150.00

4) The offer is limited to ONE cashback refund per household

5) Cashback will be issued back to the payment method ONLY.

6) If England win the World Cup in South Africa in June 2010, cashback will be settled, and refunded within 7 days of the completion of the World Cup tournament.

“Come On England!”

“Here,” said Paul, as he made the morning brew, “perhaps Frank and the boys will all rush to buy one…?”

Now that would be a surprise!

Hp Compaq NC6220 – Cheap & Quick Web browsing in a well built machine

2009-07-24T06:05:00.001-07:00

If you are looking for machine in the £150-£200 price bracket that offers you easy access to the net, quick functionality and is all wrapped in a very well designed and built package then the Hp Compaq NC6220 fits the bill perfectly! Now you are probably thinking that a top price of only £200 sounds very cheap for a 1.7Ghz, 1Gb Ram and a large 60Gb Hard drive laptop but just check out Eflex Computers They have refurbished models starting from just £129.99. At under £200 the Hp Compaq NC6220 is not to be missed.
Compared to other models in its price range such as the Dell D610 and Toshiba Tecra M2 this machine really does stand out in terms of build quality. Just place the machine next to either of these other models and you will the Compaq stand out. This laptop really does give you the feeling it was designed to look like a professional machine. Not only does it look the part it also has the performance to match. The components that have been packed into this small and lightweight machine are of the highest quality, both for durability and performance.
When compared to other Refurbished laptops in its price range you can easily see that the hp Compaq NC6220 meets or exceeds the specifications of its closest rivals. It has a very large hard drive for the price, 60Gb will ensure that you never run out of space to store your music, videos, spreadsheets and letters etc.
Whether you are looking for a laptop for home use, business use or for work on the move then the Hp Compaq NC6220 is definitely worth a look. Its smart and professional look ensures that if you do take it into the office people will have no idea you have bought a laptop on a tight budget. This machine doesn’t look out of place even when placed to laptops that have cost up to twice as much! For work on the move its slim and compact design ensures you don’t feel like taking this machine with you is a burden. When working at home the machine will fit nicely onto your lap or on a small corner of table so there’s no need to clear off a whole table top like some of the less well designed laptops required.

Business on the move – Toshiba Tecra M2

2009-07-24T06:03:00.000-07:00

The Toshiba Tecra M2 is one of the smartest looking machines we have come across in its price range. It is also a very lightweight laptop when you consider the features packed into this machine. In this mobile age having quick and easy access to the internet is a must, this laptop has an Intel centrino processor which means the wireless is easily available without the need for messy leads. The Tecra also offers one of the biggest hard drives available within its price range, with prices starting from just £175 you receive a whopping 60 GB HDD which is more than enough to store all of those precious files you have!

The Toshiba Tecra M2 incorporates practical technology, wrapped in an easy to carry case, a built-in optical drive, and three forms of wireless communication.

The black and silver designed Toshiba Tecra M2 fits easily in your briefcase or carry pouch because it's smaller than most other laptops that are described as thing & light. It measures 12.25 inches wide by 10.25 inches deep and slightly less than 1.5 inches thick, its weight is just less than 5 lbs.

The manufacturers describe this laptop as ‘Designed for users who demand the greatest mobile PC experience, the Tecra M2 delivers outstanding performance, full functionality and long battery life in an easily portable, thin-and-light design. In addition to its new sleek design with slimming angular lines, the Tecra M2 incorporates Intel Centrino mobile technology, providing advanced power, battery optimization and wireless connectivity allowing for greater freedom to be productive in new places and in new ways.’ And to be honest this is probably one of the most accurate manufacturing descriptions we have ever come across.

To summarize, for business on the move in a laptop costing under £200 you would be well advised to opt for the Toshiba Tecra M2.

The Perfect Home / Office PC

2009-07-08T06:39:00.000-07:00

If you are looking to buy a new home or office pc then you have probably already realised the choices available to you are endless. With so many big manufacturers churning out hundreds of different machines that vary in specification so greatly you have probably started to become a bit overwhelmed by the options presented to you!
How much RAM do you really need? What size of hard drive is going to be big enough to cope with your needs? You need a computer that can not only handle the day to day tasks of a normal computer but can also allow you to have a bit of fun when the working day is over? And possibly the most important thing… you need a computer that won’t be outdated in 3 months time!
The answer to all of your problems are already bundled together in this extremely good looking and very well performing PC from Eflex computers, the Core2duo PC. At a very low price of only £299 (operating system is extra) this machine can do it all, the powerful graphics card, processor and RAM contained within the very attractively styled case can easily cope with anything you throw at it.
Word processing, internet browsing, photo editing are no longer a long and tedious task thanks to the dual core processor built into this machine. The 4GB of RAM ensures that it completes operations quickly and easily and the 500GB hard disk drive enables you to save as many photos and videos as you could possibly need. Graphics are displayed brilliantly and clearly thanks to the GeForce nVidia 7100TC 512MB graphics card installed.
Now the machine does have a downside, if you are looking to play the very latest games on ultra high resolution graphic settings you may encounter some a slight reduction in performance, but if gaming is all you are after then the serious gamer will need to go for something a lot more powerful, and a lot more costly! The QUAD core Gaming PC that weighs in at £474 is whats needed to cope with the graphical demands of today’s latest and greatest computer games.
If you are looking for the ultimate gaming pc then this machine probably isn’t for you, but if you are looking for a machine that can easily cope with your work life and your play time and will still be performing well compared to new models for years to come then this is definitely worth a look! All of the components are easily upgradeable so even if in 3 years time you find yourself wanting a bit more power it will not be an issue. Even the motherboard installed supports quad core so if you do wish to make that next step up it can be achieved at a relatively low cost!

Dell d610 laptop - The ideal solution for students

2009-07-06T07:47:00.000-07:00

As every student will know a laptop is an essential piece of equipment. Every student will also know that watching the pennies is an essential part of student life. You need a lightweight, portable, affordable machine that can not only give you access to the internet but store a large amount of information safely. A refurbished Dell d610 laptop is the answer! You can easily pick up one of these machines for around £200, see Cheap Laptops for this model and a wide range of other affordable student laptops.

The reason the Dell D610 laptop shines out from the crowd is its excellent durability and upgradeability. These machines where built with the user in mind, they function brilliantly and easily cope with the demands of student life. With a large 40 GB hard drives you have more than enough space to store all of your coursework and dissertations. If anything were to go wrong with the laptop then the components are very cheap and very easy to replace, but due to this being a dell machine you can rest assured that component failures will be very few and far between.

The ease of upgrading this machine is also a major plus point. If you wish to add in more RAM, upgrade the cd drive or just replace your keyboard, it can be done in a matter of minutes. This will be a great advantage to anyone who purchased a machine during their ‘student’ era and has now moved into employment and needs something a bit more powerful for their work life.

There are a range of similar models available that can also meet all the needs of a student at an affordable price. The Toshiba Tecra M2, the HP Compaq NC6220 are just 2 examples of these. Both offer the same sort of specification and can be picked up for around the same price from Eflex Computers but the one downfall these systems have over the Dell D610 laptop is the durability and the ease of upgrading. To summarise, if you are looking for a cheap laptop that can handle all of your needs, internet browsing, good connectivity, ease of upgrade and the all important durability then a refurbished Dell d610 laptop is the system for you!

Green Computing With Refurbished Laptops

2009-06-23T08:26:00.000-07:00

We no longer live in the ‘throw away’ age of discarding products simply because they have developed a small fault or we are after the latest and greatest new model. Protecting our Earth is now a big priority for most people and businesses, therefore we are adapting our lifestyles to do everything we can to help preserve our planet for future generations. Instead of throwing a laptop in the bin simply because one of the components has failed or it is no longer considered to be up-to-date, more and more people are turning to recycling or ‘refurbishing’ as an environmentally sound option.

Recycling can be done in a number of ways, selling the laptop for spares, donating it to charities that supply third world countries or by selling it to a refurbishing company such as http://eflexcomputers.com Companies such as this will offer you money for old laptops, whether they function or not, and then refurbish them and put them back into the marketplace. The refurbishing process is carried out by professionals and incorporates the following stages.

The laptop is fully wiped of all personal data, programs, software etc and taken to a ‘blank’ state. This not only protects the previous owner from having any information stolen but also ensures the system is totally clean of any viruses or issues that could prevent it functioning properly. The hardware then undergoes rigorous testing to ensure that all of the components are functioning correctly and that they still have a good life left in them. If any of the components aren’t functioning correctly or are identified as only having a short life span left they are replaced with new parts. Fresh versions of all the software including operating system, required drivers, anti-virus programs etc are then re-installed on the laptop effectively returning it to the same state as when it was first sent out of the factory.

Refurbished laptops are generally considered by a lot of people to more reliable then systems bought directly after manufacture. This is due the fact they have been operated for some time and so any issues with faulty hardware have been picked up and resolved.

Refurbished laptops offer a lot of benefits over buying a new model. The instant one you will see is the huge savings you can make on the price. For the sake of some cosmetic marks that wont effect functionality at all you can save up to 50% on high street prices. The second benefit is the huge impact on the environment. New laptops produce a lot of harmful gases and toxins during the manufacturing process that damage our environment. The refurbished option means 1 less new laptop being manufactured and 1 less old laptop sitting on the local tip!